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[personal profile] fruitkakechevy
Sometimes I can't wait for Josh to sleep all night in his own bed. He usually gets up at about 2 or 3 from his room, and comes into our bed. Sometimes he's awake enough to want to nurse, and I have to tell him (again) that he can when the sun comes up. Often he goes right back to sleep, and sometimes he stays awake for hours, rolling around and asking again and again for some "sleepy nei-nei". He'll lie sideways, kicking me or J. He'll sometimes flip around so his feet are at the head of the bed. He'll alternately kick off the covers (thus pulling off our covers too), and ask for the covers to be returned to him. When he comes to bed, I have to move Ella over to the bumpered edge, so that he can sleep between me and J and not crush (or wake) her in his rollings. We all sleep better when he's not in bed with us.

But. When he does sleep through in his own bed, and come to see us once the sun is well up, I miss him. Though he's sometimes infuriatingly wakeful in the middle of the night, I miss his sleepy breathing and his sweet morning smile. I miss snuggling his sleepy body, which was so little and now seems so big. And on mornings when he's slept in his own bed, I realize that I'm happy to have him sleeping with us as long as he wants to.

And I read things like this(beware music), and cry, because I think about how sweet it all is, and how quickly it will be over. I wish I could enjoy it all fully and completely, every moment, because once I no longer have little kids I'll miss it so dreadfully.

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fruitkakechevy

January 2011

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